Wednesday, May 24, 2006

A Traveller Has Tales to Tell...

...and other quotations that Sue and I have seen along this Irish journey.

We've collected these quotations and typical Irish "sound bites" from sugar packets in various restaurants, caf├ęs, pubs, as well as from signs that were posted in places along our way.

We've seen everything from the silly to the more serious.
I think there is something here for everyone. Enjoy! : )

Irish wisdom from a sugar packet

"It's a long road that has no turns."

"Coffee should be black as night, hot as hell, and strong as love."

"Beauty does not boil a pot."

"Good men can often be found wearing worn britches."

"What is strange is wonderful."

"He would put legs under a chicken." (Which means he is talkative)

"The day of the big wind is no time to be doing the thatching."

Pub signs

"When the floor is full, please use the ashtray."

"Be good or begone."

"A friend in need is a pain in the arse."

And a typical Irish legend that has a happy ending...

The Children of Lir.

King Lir had four children, Fionnula, Aed, Conn, and Fiacra. Aoife, King Lir's second wife, was jealous of Lir's love for his children, turn them into swans for 900 years. Only when the church bells rang were they released, where upon they died."


At 2:43 PM, Blogger J said...

The Mystery of the Leprechaun

Part I

We had just finished our breakfast of Lucky Charms and beer when we spotted a rainbow just over the hill to the South.

Since we were in Ireland we thought if there was ever a place to find a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow it would be here.

We quickly through on our scuba jackets and aqua socks and headed out the door and up the hill.

It hadn't rainded for 26 and a 1/2 minutes so we were in the middle of an Irish drought but we bodly pushed on.

Suddenly out of the corner of our eyes we spotted a rather tiny individual singing and falling all over himself as he stumbled down the other side of the hill.

We were sure this was a Leprechaun and quickly chased after him. The little man was surprised at the speed which we climbed the drought stricken slope.

Foreigners don't usually function too well on the native diet of Lucky Charms and Beer but Sue and I had been eating, sleeping and drinking Ireland in the months before we visited.

The little bastard dissappeared but I could hear the drunken slurring of "O Danny Boy" coming from the bushes at the bottom of the hill.

Running down hill was a little harder than we had expected. We quickly fell over one another and rolled down the hill in the hot Irish Sun, all sweaty, with our clothes ripping partially off and exposing our Irish tan lines.

Out of breath we finally came to a stop and there lying in front of us past out on the ground was a Leprechaun.

Too be continued....

At 5:06 PM, Blogger lala said...

You're grand, Jay! (That's Irish for "Damn, that was funny!")
Who's the little man?? You? ; )

At 9:43 AM, Blogger J said...

The Mystery of the Leprechaun

Part II

All that rolling around frothed up the Guinness inside us and sent us clambering for the bushes. We found out the hard way that Lucky Charms are not always magically delicious.

Our violent noises startled a heard of nearby sheep and our wee little friend began to awake from his alcohol induced slumber.

"Top of the morning to you.", he said and flashed his beautiful pearly green and yellow Irish teeth.

My God!

The stench of his breath wafted over to us on the dry desert wind and sent us once again for the bushes.

"Ah! Playing shy are ya?"

"Don't worry o'l Shawny knows how to treat the lasses."

"Why don't you come and give me a wee kiss?"

Please stop talking!

Your breath...I't so rank!

I don't think I can focus my eyes anymore.

"Oh sweet Jesus! I think you've got Lucky Charms poisoning. Looks like I'll have to give ye mouth to mouth."

Get away from us you little freak!

"Lasses, Lasses. You know what they say about Leprechaun's?"

Danny MacTavish! You get back here this minute!"

"Awww! Mom!"

You're not a Leprechaun?

"Do you want to see my pot of gold?"

Oh my God! No! You Filthy, filthy boy.


"Coming Mom."

At 1:58 PM, Anonymous cb said...



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